Sunday, May 26, 2002
19:40: I'm slowly trying to come to grips with the distance, the silence... and I'm holding on to the idea that at some point I'll get to sidle up next to K---- and cuddle for hours.
10:53: Now, I don't keep pr0n on my computer. On the one hand, it takes up valuable MP3 space. And on the other (I wish I had a third hand), it often has the potential to come up at embarrassing moments.
Wednesday, May 22, 2002
23:47: I hate feeling emotinally vulnerable.
Tuesday, May 21, 2002
10:17: I did get the pair of lips I hungered for the next day--'twas a happy surprise. But K---- went back home today... the day I was procrastinating on dealing with has come. He probably won't be back for a few months, and although it's likely that I might go visit him or that he might come up, somehow I'm not banking a whole lot of hope on that making it work. It also kinda sucked that I couldn't spend his last night in town with him--mom and two aunts are visiting from Colombia, and while I wouldn't have a problem giving my relatives a somewhat concrete manifestation of the whole "I'm gay thing" (to them merely a theoretical construct to date), he wasn't too keen on it...
Tuesday, May 07, 2002
22:00: I had not hungered for a specific pair of lips in too long to count. How much of it is my body's hunger, and how much of it is my attachment-fearing heart? And what does it say about me when I want to be calling the head that those lips are attached to every day? Ah, the eternal toeing of the line between caring and clingy... if I hadn't seen Seinfeld as many times as I did, I'd probably be less neurotic about this.
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